Piece of Mind - Bat Family
by MadBat27
Summary: Quick streams of consciousness from the Bat clan, reflecting on their roles.
1. Bruce Wayne

I made a vow on the graves of my parents. I swore I'd rid Gotham of the crime that took them from me. Instead, things have only gotten worse.

Every year, more violent psychopaths crawl from the woodwork to infest my city. Cults, gang wars, chemical warfare. All these years fighting this crusade and Gotham is no less corrupt than when I began. And my parents are still gone.

I won't stop. But I need to know that what I'm doing is making a difference. There has to be a light at the end of the tunnel. If only I could know for certain.

Alfred says my parents would have been proud of me. Some nights I'm not so sure.


	2. Dick Grayson

I won't be him.

As a child, I looked up to him. There was so much to learn, so much he could teach. He made me the man I am today. With his moral code, his vast knowledge and his example of strength and determination. I wanted to be just like him. Everything he did, the way he lived his life, the sacrifices he made, they were all for the good of the city. For me.

At least, that's what I thought.

As I grew up, I began to realize it wasn't true. He didn't do things for himself, for the glory of being a hero. Not like Dr. Strange and other quacks would have you believe. But he didn't do it because it was right either. Not entirely.

He does it because he has to. It's a compulsion, an obsession. He can't let go, but he won't drag us down with him. I can respect that, but it doesn't work that way. The sacrifices he makes, they don't have to be made. Even after all these years, with so many people standing by his side, he still thinks he is alone. Worse, he thinks he has to be.

Secrets are dangerous things. They come out in the end, always at the worst time, and they can ruin everything. Trust can be torn away, relationships break apart, all for the sake of a lie. But he keeps doing it. He keeps trying to protect us by hiding things from us, leaving us behind, leaving us in the dark.

But that's when fear sets in. It's all part of the human condition. People aren't scared of the dark, they're scared of the unknown. What we can't see coming. Thing like the Batman. But also, his enemies.

Yet every time he needs us at his side he pushes us away. He's too proud to ask for help, too afraid to admit he needs it. And in the end, it's us who pay the price.

I still want to learn from him, to be the best crime-fighter I can be. But I don't want to end up like him. Giving up my happiness is not an option. I won't become the grim embittered man Bruce so willingly became. This mask and costume will never be the real Dick Grayson. And I'll never be afraid to ask for help.

Most of all, I won't end up alone.


	3. Jason Todd

Every crook is my dad. My drunk, no-good dead-beat dad, out on another 'errand'. Always another get-rich-quick scheme, another 'last job'. One last big score. Meanwhile, I hide in the apartment with the rats and cockroaches.

So what if I break a couple ribs? Maybe they'll take the hint. Next time, they'll think twice about leaving their family while they hold up a corner store or mug an old lady. Make it hard enough, maybe they'll go out and get a job. A real job. One that supports their family. No more prison visits, no more cops with search warrants, no more drug dealers looking for the stash they lost or the cash to cover it.

Batman glares at me. It's like I'm back in school, getting told off for fighting the school bully. Guess I should have let him sucker-punch me. Here, take my lunch money. I don't need it. My dad's got the mother-load coming in tonight. Yeah, he said that last week, but this time he means it.

How is it that he still makes me angry, after all this time? I throw another punch, even though my opponent's down. He's unconscious now, so I throw a couple more. Family man, he says. Lives by a code of honor.

Live by the sword, die by the sword.

Batman is yelling at me. I've gone too far, disobeyed orders. Like he's some kind of angel. He wants to scare criminals but doesn't want them hurt? Or maybe it's only okay when _he_ dangles them off the rooftops. That's big boy stuff. Maybe when I'm older.

Alfred will glare at me too. He doesn't approve. I'm no Dick Grayson. What a disappointment. Maybe that's what my old man thought, too. Waste of space son, never amount to nothin'. Well look at me now, Dad, I'm on top of the world. The high-flying, ass-kicking, son of a bitch sidekick. I've got a longer rap-sheet than you.

I'm no Batman. But who'd want to be?


	4. Barbara Gordon

I wanted to be just like him.

Every time I put that mask on, I became someone else. Some _thing_ else. Suddenly, I was indestructible, just like him. I believed it. Really. Looking back, I guess I was naïve. It was just a costume. I was a young girl playing dress-up, but instead of taking my mother's heels and lipstick, I was throwing myself of rooftops.

And it was great. More than that, it was amazing. And I never thought twice about it. Good guys always win, crime never pays. Talented gymnasts retain the use of their legs.

Sure, I knew it was dangerous. There was always a risk, a chance that I'd get hurt, that I could die. But Robin… Nightwing. Dick. He'd survived year unscathed. And Batman approved – eventually – and that was enough. That was my safety net.

Until Jason… until so much went wrong. I couldn't do it anymore. Too many people were counting on me. So I got out. It was more complicated than that, but the point is, I left. I did what Bruce and Dick and Cassie and all the others could never do: I started again.

I put that life behind me, with all it entails. Yes, the thrill and the feeling of importance, of doing something good. But also the bruises, the gunshots, the worry and weariness. I traded it all in for a normal life. I think Bruce actually respected me more for that than anything else I've ever accomplished in the Batgirl suit. It was the one time I'd done something he knew he never could. He also resented me a little for it, I think. For leaving him behind.

Things were different. My priorities had changed. It took a while for Dick to understand that; I'm not sure he does even now. One of the drawbacks of being a natural-born performer, you don't understand people ducking out of the limelight.

I just wanted to be me again. Was that too much to ask?

I watch them out in the field, plugged in to every surveillance camera in the city, and I miss it. God, but I miss it. Don't get me wrong, this isn't self-pity. I can't walk but I can still kick your ass. I've proven myself useful as Oracle time and again. Invaluable perhaps. Sometimes, I feel like that's a weakness. I should have kept going. I walked away, but when I lost my legs are crawled right back. I'm letting the pain and anger beat me by being here. I'm taking another roll of the dice.

I try to get out and they just keep pulling me back in.

Sometimes the bat family feels a little like the crime families. A power unto themselves. Wasn't that why I left? Part of it anyway. Okay, maybe only a small part. Tiny. But don't dismiss it. It matters. At some point or another, this house of cards has got to fall apart.

Eventually, we'll have to face the facts. We're not in control. We have no authority. All we have is our own personal vendettas. Our own agendas. We've all been sucked into this obsession, addicted to the lifestyle. We can't win. So when will it be enough?


	5. Jim Gordon

That's enough!

I've had all I can take with this city. I'm sick of the politics. Doesn't anybody in this urban hellhole understand that lives are on the line? Everybody is just too busy worrying about their careers, while lunatics roam the streets. Every time there's a crisis, I get Jeremiah Arkham brick-walling me, the Mayor feeding me PR memos and unrealistic deadlines, and every citizen of Gotham pleading the fifth.

Something's got to change. I've done my best to weed out corruption in the department, but it all amounts to squat if my hands are tied. Co-operation is needed before we can do our jobs, but people are still too afraid. Scared of the crime families, scared of the villains, scared of the Mayor's office. Hell, they're even scared of us.

The only person they seem to trust is Batman.

I appreciate what he's done for this city, and when it comes to madmen like Joker, I wouldn't want to be without him. But ultimately, the Batman isn't the answer. Not in the long run. This city has to stand up for itself. The citizens have to make their voices heard.

Until then, Batman is just another symbol of power outside the law. I'd never admit this to him, but I can't help but believe he's responsible. Crime stepped up to match the measures against them. Joker, Scarecrow, Bane. All of them. They go to greater lengths to beat him, and this city is caught in the crossfire. Gotham is a warzone now.

I don't know what that means for us. I'm too long in the tooth to think things are black and white. I believe in the system, but I also believe in the Bat. I know the system has its flaws, and Gotham has no shortage of low-lives trying to exploit them. But Batman is fallible, too. Sooner or later, he'll make a mistake this city cannot forgive.

At the end of the day, I'm glad he's on our side. God forbid we ever find ourselves pitted against him.


	6. Damian Wayne

He could destroy them.

With only the slightest effort, he could snap their necks and end their pitiful existence. He could rule Gotham city. Instead, he protects it. Like a babysitter.

No… Ubu is never so merciful.

Grandfather is right. My father is weak. Sentimental. Clinging to his morality, as though there were a victory in it. The so-called 'Rogues' know better. They sit in their cells, defeated and incarcerated, yet still they smile. They will always win.

When the time comes, Mother tells me I shall take his place. The cowl will be mine, voluntarily or not, and I will bring Gotham to order. My Grandfather's order. And if they resist… I will not show the same restraint as my father.

His sidekick is a different matter. Violent, decisive. He lacks the weakness of my father, but also the experience and discipline. In this, we are alike. But I have time. Grand Masters from across the world tutor me in the art of combat, steeling my will and my body. This Todd boy – Robin – will be my protégé. Or he will suffer the same fate as his city.

In time.


	7. Alfred

I had hoped, in time, Master Bruce would cease this relentless crusade. In hindsight, I should have known better. He always was a tenacious youth. Like his father, in that respect. I often tell Bruce his parents would have been proud. Sincerely, I believe it.

And yet…

The appointment of Master Jason to the mantle of Robin was pre-emptive. The circumstances under which Master Dick left are as yet unresolved. On the subject, Master Bruce remains reticent. I fear he has withdrawn, and Master Jason will suffer for it.

Already, it is plain to see that the new Robin requires refinement. He is brash, stubborn and belligerent. I dare say it is his truculence that Master Bruce identifies with; his own stoic poise has been prone to disquiet of late. One might propose the mentor needs his sidekick as much as he is needed himself.

Yet, while my continued unwavering support is guaranteed, I regret to confess a longing for this all to reach its culmination. Memories of a simpler time yet echo in the deepest recess of my mind. I raised Bruce, even while his parents yet drew breath, and I had hoped to rear his children someday, too. Nostalgia is a potent force. A simple life beckons. I'm getting too old for all this 'superhero' ruckus.

I only hope it will end voluntarily, and not at the barrel of a gun.


	8. Ace

Grrrrrr, rarf rarf! Rawwrrrr, rarf!

*pant pant pant*

Erruuue.

_Just for kicks and giggles. :) Please review, and check out my other Piece of Mind fics. Feel free to request any characters you'd like to see. Thanks for reading! _


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